Gnome Empire Celebrates Christmas: Highlights from 2025

Gnome Empire Celebrates Christmas: Highlights from 2025

Illustration of a sprig of holly with green leaves and red berries, commonly associated with Christmas.

Editor’s Introduction: In October 2024, we began reporting on the activities of the infamous Gnome Empire, ruled by the malevolent Lord Emperor Wilson, located in the southern region of the continent Tampa on the distant planet Florida.

Click/ Press here for all our Gnome Empire reporting.

Emperor Wilson’s Annual Christmas Speech

Our dedicated reporters traveled once again to the south of the continent Tampa on the distant planet Florida. We were invited by the Empire’s Press Secretary to attend Lord Emperor Wilson’s annual Christmas Speech.

A cozy holiday scene featuring several gnome decorations on a beige couch, surrounded by festive curtains and a decorated Christmas tree in the background. — Emperor Wison, perched on an arm of the Sacred Couch in front of the Official Christmas Tree of the Gnome Empire, speaking to a throng of gnomes.

Emperor Wilson spoke grandly of the Empire’s claim to have the “Best Christmas Ever Anywhere.”

He also mused about the past year,

David Cameron, the British Prime Minister, said, ‘Christmas gives us the opportunity to pause and reflect on the important things around us.’

One year ago, the Empire successfully brought the Grand Rebellion to a peaceful conclusion. While unrest has surfaced on other planets within our domain, we have experienced a year of remarkable peace and stability within the Gnome Empire. As your Emperor, I am profoundly committed to preserving our cherished traditions and values, standing strong against those who seek to disrupt our unity and prosperity. Together, we will continue to safeguard our Empire and ensure a bright future for all.

_{^{Sidenote: click/ tap here to read our first report on the Grand Rebellion.}}

The speech had a large attendance. Several attendees strongly denied being coerced into attending. Our reporters noted the off-camera presence of well-armed Squall Troopers, who were described as a protection detail.

Gnome Empire Grand Banner of the Season

Later that evening, our reporters visited the Empire’s traditional Grand Banner of the Season and the surrounding decorations.

A festive Christmas banner featuring colorful gnome characters with holiday decorations, surrounded by a winter landscape with snow-covered trees and festive elements. — This year, lights bordered the Banner.

^{_{Sidenote: The spiral tree depicted below is an ancient relic that predates the founding of the Empire in 2017. It is one of the few remaining Christmas artifacts from Gnomeland, located on the planet Arizona, and it dates back to before the Great Gnome Migration to the planet Florida. Unfortunately, the gnome technicians responsible for maintaining the tree have informed us that this may be the last year it is displayed due to its age and fragility.}}